Happy Hour Hack: Minding your own business and why men should drink pink cocktails
The Ashley Herring Blake Edition
Welcome to the Happy Hour Hack! Each Friday, I share a tip from my interviewee of the week, along with any ideas or inspiration I receive from readers, plus some things that are piquing my own interest.
Hack
This week’s tip comes from the award-winning author Ashley Herring Blake, and it seems to be influenced by her 9-to-5 gig as a teacher. But it’s one that I’m sure all of us need to hear repeatedly.
My biggest hack, which I think is just advice, is: Eyes on your own paper. In the creative life, it’s really easy to compare yourself to others, to their success, but your creations are just that—your own. They are the only thing you can control. And with kids or a family, it’s even more crucial to find the way to create—the pace, the quantity—that works for you.
The Forum
Apropos of nothing, meet the newest honorary member of TCF. I had just reached a point in my life when I could do things like start a newsletter about creativity and motherhood, so we…got a puppy.
At low moments, I find myself googling things like, “Should a family have a dog,” trying to find encouragement to latch onto. And the encouragement is out there. The internet thinks a family dog is great for kids, keeping them happier, healthier, and less stressed. But what about me?! Well, they supposedly are good for lowering blood pressure and stress levels. And easing loneliness. Hahahahaha. No parent of young children is lonely.
So hopefully after this little lady stops pissing on the floor and eating my slippers, we will all be a healthier, less stressed lot. Or I could just skip down to the cocktail portion of this post for that? Let me know if you have puppy-training tips!
Music
When your kids are little, you discover that there is a lot of really, really bad music out there aimed at them. It’s silly and catchy stuff. Stuff that we refused to have in our house because we adults hated it. And we felt there is too much good music in the world for us to subject ourselves to music we don’t enjoy. And it worked. Our kids love our music for the most part.
But it was also really exciting when we discovered Walter Martin. He was in the Walkmen (who are doing a reunion tour this spring!) and launched a solo career in 2014. He won two Parents’ Choice Awards for his “family albums” We’re All Young Together and My Kinda Music. My family—adults and kids alike—love both of these albums. They’re silly and fun but also super high-quality, and Martin is a masterful storyteller.
But what I want to share with you is his song “The Soldier,” off the album The World at Night, which is the story of a life in 7 minutes, the story of Martin’s father-in-law’s life, actually. It’s stunning, and does what the greatest of short stories do—you feel like you understand what it’s like to be a different human being, and it makes you look at your own life in a slightly new way.
Cocktail
In my chat with Ashely, she brought up her “extremely evolved” husband. I think about this concept a lot and will certainly be writing about it a lot. So many women I talk with mention how they couldn’t be doing what they’re doing if they didn’t have an equal partner supporting them. It’s no secret that women have been doing this for creative men since the dawn of time. But some men are finally stepping up to make things right. And it is our duty as parents to raise boys who will be good partners and to raise girls who won’t take shit. All of this brings me to the obvious conclusion of…the cosmo.
It’s a litmus test. It’s a litmus test to see if a man holds antiquated ideas about identity (colors should not be gendered!) and to see if he is secure in his masculinity without publicly posturing. I don’t trust a man who isn’t willing to drink a pink cocktail. We don’t have time for that man’s mores.
The cosmo, like so many vintage cocktails, is having a resurgence despite its many years of exile from the craft cocktail world. But that bad rap is partly from the many, many bad, too-sweet cosmos out there. If you go by the original recipe by Toby Cecchini (owner of the incredible Long Island Bar in Brooklyn), then it’s obvious why it’s a classic. It’s tart and refreshing and not overly sweet. It’s a lovely Friday evening reward for all of your hard work during the week.
The Cosmopolitan
This makes a 5 oz. cocktail (before dilution), so get out your big-kid stemware. The recipe calls for Cointreau, which is pricey. If you can’t swing it, you could replace it with Triple Sec, but it makes a difference. You get what you pay for and all that. Fresh-squeezed lime juice is (always) mandatory. And for cranberry juice, go with the regular ol’ Ocean Spray. I’ve tried the fancy kinds that are actually all cranberry juice, but they don’t work in the cocktail.
2 oz. lemon vodka (like Absolut Citron)
1 oz. Cointreau
1 oz. lime juice
1 oz. cranberry juice
Shake in a tin with ice and strain into a coupe. The original recipe says to garnish with a lemon twist, but it’s fine to forgo it.
Cheers!